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From the home of the pandas: Day 2, 'Of taxis and ladies in lingerie'

By Asa Butcher
0 Comment(s)Print E-mail Radia86, June 15, 2011
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Radio86 journalists Asa Butcher and Iona Orbinski-Vonk are travelling in China for the first time in their lives. Their destination is the fascinating Sichuan province - the home of panda bears. In this blog, Asa tells our readers how an Englishman is faring in the Middle Kingdom.

Click here to read Day One...

Day two, a second blog post and I have had a fourth business card pushed under my door in just under an hour. Now, these business cards feature some lovely young ladies with a high regard for their personal appearance who are also rather keen to share their current choice of lingerie with this innocent and wedded Englishman – yes, I am aware that my wife is following my trip via this blog... hello, darling.

I am so shocked by these filthy business cards that I can barely tear my horrified gaze away, but I must in order to share with you another activity that is also fast, physically exhilarating and leaves you reaching for your wallet. However, I sincerely doubt the cost of those half-naked ladies is anywhere near as cheap as the Chengdu Stunt Driving Team, also known as the local taxi service.

When you spot their pea-green body and yellow roof charging down the road, you raise an arm above your head and hail them to stop. Traffic regulations are nothing and customer service is everything, as they immediately swerve across three lanes of fast-moving traffic to pull to a halt and whisk you off to your destination. I'm sure there's the smell of burning rubber as the driver propels the cab away.

If you are lucky there are seatbelts in the back, but the Chinese never use them, and the seats are covered in white removable sheets, which are probably protection against any terror-induced bowel movements staining his cab. There is a metre in the front that accumulates the mind-boggling 30 U.S. cents per kilometre and a timer, which I am sure boasts a milliseconds function – I'm sure if a journey takes longer than five minutes then the driver will consider himself a failure.

In order to shave off every possible second, he will straddle lanes, ride the bumper of the car in front, batter his brake pads and generally ignore any highway decency. Indecisiveness, passiveness and cowardice will not get you a job as a taxi driver... you need balls the size of baozi (a steamed Chinese bun).

As you exit the cab you feel alive, well, thankful to still be alive. It can be an adrenaline rush and liberating experience. It can also occasionally leave you needing some love and affection from another human being, somebody to reassure you that everything will be okay, somebody in some rather fetching lingerie... hmmm, how do you say in Chinese: "Can we just hug?"

Click here to read Day Three...

 

 

 

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