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Chinese and Western lifestyles stand poles apart.  As an American I cherish my privacy and independence.  Since college days I've had my own apartment, car, income and personal life. After all, independence represents success in the USA. But when a Chinese graduate student curiously queried me about my living conditions in China she was stunned by my reply, murmuring "You live alone? Aren't you lonely? I am so sorry for you."

My students frequently baffled me. How could thirty year old men confess to being so attached to their mothers? And why did they, even my brightest stars, always insist on working together, especially during exams?  I'm not the only confused foreigner. Throughout history Westerners have perceived the people of Zhong Guo, the Middle Kingdom, as positively unfathomable.

The Chinese culture feels alien to Westerners. If culture is defined through language, food and behavior then truly the complex Chinese language presents a formidable barrier to Westerners. And the vast array of Chinese foodstuffs startles western palates. But most significantly, fundamental Chinese behavioral patterns conflict with western norms. The most blatant difference revolves around the Chinese predilection towards the group. It lies in diametric opposition to Western values, particularly the Americans, who remain notoriously proud of their status as individuals.

Historically, even before China became overpopulated in the 20th century, the Chinese chose to live crowded together in family clusters. Rice farming has always required intensive labor, so feudal leaders organized families into tight working groups of tens and hundreds. Today, the Chinese still live closely together, eating from the same dishes, sleeping in the same room, without privacy as Western people know it. It is no surprise that after feudalism working family groups evolved into the present communist system of the work unit, or dan wei. 

The Chinese have congregated for centuries into a third, larger group revolving around patriotism. This devotion springs from Chinese nationalistic pride nurtured on an extended and extreme isolation from other cultures. Chinese civilization did not trade with foreigners until the 17th century, and even then traders and sailors were given limited rights to live and do business on their soil. Foreigners have often been viewed as aliens or even as wild beasts.  Since the Opium Wars (1839-42) the country has progressively regained her previous strength and autonomy. Especially from 1949, with the advent of the Communist era, China has consistently recreated the glory of the ancient empires by entertaining foreign guests with ceremony and pomp but never fully accepting foreign cultures. In fact, Deng Xiaoping's Open Door Policies in the 1980s have successfully translated China into one of the fastest growing economies in the world. Deng encouraged cooperation and learning from Western science and business. Yet just as a prosperous beehive may borrow pollen from alien worker bees but will not fully accept the stranger into the hive, likewise, the joint ventures between foreigners and Chinese have not been completely incorporated.

This is because strangers, not just foreigners, belong to the outside, the wai; friends and relatives belong to the inside, the nei. In China different behavioral standards apply depending upon the relationships, rank and status among interacting parties. Hence, the French and American judicial codes that provide disinterested justice for all individuals do not apply in the Chinese system of values. Instead, Confucian ethics have established hierarchical rules of living and working together.

Confucius, who lived between Socrates and Buddha (551BC - 479BC) created Chinese social etiquette and the three obligatory bonds: subject to ruler, son to father and wife to husband. His values still have great influence on the way Chinese live and interact with each other. Who one knows as well as one's rank and position in life -- rather than a set of utopian rights established for all -- determines how justice as well as work, love and power will be distributed in China.

To get along and to prosper the Chinese invariably clump together and form lucrative relationships, called guan xi. These invisible and complicated webs of interrelationships determine how the Chinese people behave toward one another throughout life.  In contrast the Western legal systems attempt to impartially regulate the rules of conduct among its citizens. Laws do not change according to status; people may move and change their class and rank. Judeo-Christian ethics have also deeply influenced Western behavioral rules, encouraging equal behavior to strangers and friends alike. In stark contrast China has little freedom of class redistribution as well as a Byzantine labyrinth of legal systems. More significantly, Chinese societal rules change depending on one's position, rank and guan xi.

From childhood onwards the Chinese cultivate guan xi, utilizing it to get things done. From a foreign perspective guan xi appears to be nepotism, corruption, bribery and blatant favoritism, all rolled together. But for the Chinese it is a societal art form that ensures wellbeing, even prosperity among intimates, with lifelong friendships among a select group of people cooperating together.

Guan xi begins at home; family ties are the fundamental foundations for all other relationships. Some Westerners mistakenly view the Chinese as immature because they do not ever "grow up" and leave the family nest.  But Chinese extended families have traditionally lived together inside walled compounds, sharing communal living spaces. Anyone outside the high walls was considered foreign, a possible threat. Even today with the advent of socialist housing these elaborate kinship relationships firmly establish a child's identity and obligations, thus preparing him for next step: interactions outside, in the working world. Chinese cultural norms thus promote survival and success for the entire clan.

"Of course I will take care of my parents. They will live with me after I'm married," stated Shirley Li, 26, my top student. "And also I'll support my uncle's son; he's my cousin, because my uncle greatly assisted my father years ago. It is my honor and my duty to do this. It is not a burden at all." 

The Chinese are not alone in honoring their kin. In many other cultures parental bonds and ancestral bonds are never severed; they are maintained and revered. In such cases a child may move into the world of the adult but he never establishes an identity separate from his community and his environment. Conversely, many Chinese view white American culture as cold, disconnected and even ill because family bonds have been broken to create childish, lonely individuals.

After school is finished, which also fosters lifelong guan xi, relationships come work. For the Chinese employment signifies much more than a job, a paycheck and a few weeks vacation every year. Many work units -- dan wei, provide cradle to grave service. From 2004 to 2005 China Oil, my dan wei, gave me a teaching job, a bicycle, an apartment with utilities and free medical insurance. Additionally China Oil had previously constructed a miniature city for its workers, complete with apartment houses, shops, restaurants, a luxury hotel, theaters, gyms and tennis courts, an Olympic pool, several parks, and a fully equipped hospital. From 2005-7 I served another work unit, a state owned agricultural university. This dan wei owned shares of stock in the local milk factory, a TV station in Outer Mongolia, and various experimental animal feed products. They provided their workers with a free clinic, subsidized housing plus utilities, cafeterias, shops and even free bus service.

My dan wei took care of me: when I complained that all the train tickets were sold out, my boss called a friend. "Pick up your ticket this afternoon at five. Go to counter number eight and talk to Xiao Liu. He'll be waiting for you," she assured me. In return I knew that my employer would eventually ask a favor of me, for relationships are based on mutual benefit and the wider one's guan xi web the more successful a person will be.

Hence, for the Chinese, the dan wei is maternal, another family. It offers security and consistency within a strictly defined hierarchy of ranks where rules of conduct are understood by all parties, with guan xi greasing the wheels of activity. Until recently even marriages had to be approved of by the prospective spouses' dan wei leaders; the group's needs overrode the individuals' desires. Viewed from Western eyes the dan wei may perhaps seem stifling. But Confucian rectitude combined with the skill Chinese employ at living together continually under cramped conditions causes most workers to feel reluctant to challenge their leaders, change jobs, or even divorce their spouses. The Chinese system may be closed but it is secure; work provides a sense of place and separateness from the encroaching outside world.

"I met my husband accidentally," Ms Xiao, my elderly colleague, told me over noodles. "He didn't work for this dan wei, so we had to get permission to marry from both of our unit leaders. Then it took two years to transfer him here."

"That's outrageous," I retorted. "How could you let a job control you in this way?"

"How can you flit from job to job?" she countered. "I have a position for life and so does my husband. When we're old we will retire and live quietly, comfortably. How will you live if you keep changing positions like a butterfly tasting different flowers?"

"Because I like the challenge," I answered. "Western workers always seek better jobs; the market is competitive. Western employers recruit those with wider work experience. More creative, more knowledgeable, more productive."

"That's not the Chinese Way," Ms Xiao responded placidly. "Stability, harmony and good relationships are keys to success in China. Besides, I want security: one job, one career, and one husband, for life. Anything else is too messy."

The Chinese world as well as their work unit is basically closed. Chinese people are curious about the West but they smugly believe that their homeland is superior to anyone else's. And the Chinese identity is intimately connected to land, language and culture. Despite great upheavals few Chinese leave their homeland and even fewer renounce their citizenship. Today the country has evolved from Mao's preference of self-reliance and isolation to Deng's Open Door Policy promoting trade and information exchange with the West. Foreigners now have fewer restrictions than ever before and Chinese youth are madly copying Western entertainment and fashion trends. Yet, with all these freedoms the Chinese people remain fiercely nationalistic, devoted to their homeland, history, art, philosophers, food and language, as well as to their leaders and government policies.

Family, work units, nationalism and guan xi all focus on a group identity. Perhaps the individualistically oriented Western people may never fully comprehend the Chinese paradigm. But if foreigners studied the phenomena of guan xi and Chinese group formations many misapprehensions would disappear. Clearly the Chinese tendency to interact as a group has contributed to the longevity, peacefulness and prosperity of their culture. Western nations could learn much from this burgeoning super power.

(china.org.cn by V. Sartor June 14, 2007)