More and more husbands in urban China are seeking shelter from verbal and physical abuse inflicted on them by their wives.
Some of them have called for the establishment of a men's federation similar to the All-China Women's Federation, a well-established organization that addresses women's interests and welfare.
The male victims also want better access to legal aid so they can get justice in the courts.
According to official statistics, about 400,000 married couples break up every year in China, with 25 percent of those cases being as a result of domestic violence.
Though the majority of domestic-violence victims are women, some experts on family issues are now calling for more attention to be paid to abused husbands.
Ge Shannan, a Beijing-based lawyer on marriage-related lawsuits, said: "Actually, it is a two-way street. Many husbands are easy prey to their wives who either complain about money and household chores or try to beat their husbands into acceptance of their extramarital affairs."
Men often felt too embarrassed to talk about their problem in public, saying that they would either lose their male dignity or be the subject of ridicule, said Ge.
A 30-year-old man surnamed Ding, who lives in Suzhou in east China's Jiangsu Province, admitted to having tried to conceal his agony for a long time.
Ding said he had to work hard to support the three members of his family and thus often came home late at night.
In the beginning, his wife complained about that and become annoyed and suspected him of having an affair, using any excuse to quarrel with him.
However, his wife began to beat him or slap him more recently. She scratched and clawed at Ding's face and even threatened to stab him with a knife.
"If I tried to fight back, she threatened to call the police and say I was abusing her. I have tried to go to the courts but a legal consultant told me that the law right now leans in favor of women instead of men," said Ding.
"I am now in limbo. I do not know how to get away from all this. It would have been better if there had been a men's federation where I could turn for help," he added.
Ding's words got a sympathetic hearing from experts who monitor sexual and family issues.
Xia Guomei, an expert on women's issues at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, said it was normal for men to seek counseling, which indicated balanced development between men and women.
"In the past, men were the law in family life while women were subservient. But, now, awareness is on the rise about equality between men and women, leading to more men seeking help. Men today also need social support for problems," Xia said.
Xu Anqi, a researcher on marriage and women's issues at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences, called for more research into the issue of men suffering from family problems.
"It is necessary to set up counseling organizations specializing in family issues, ready to accept complaints from men," Xu said.
(China Daily February 24, 2003)
